what is it?

i believe in the muse... the force that nudges us toward our interests. almost unconsciously, we gravitate toward certain things. these are the fascinations that start in childhood and never leave us. i did not choose what i like. it was given to me. they are gifts. that's the muse.

now... i can't fully explain nght dvsn, but i can describe what it feels like. mostly, it's a shift. it happens when i set a goal. it's an almost obsessive drive that takes over, where sitting still feels like a betrayal.

moreover, it feels familiar. i feel i can recognize that same compulsive drive in others. and i think they can recognize it in me. we carry this gift of compulsion, for better or worse. maybe that's what brings us together. maybe that's what makes the stranger so familiar.